As I stepped from my car, a young woman in rainbow sneaks and a skateboard on her back complimented my boots. (The diamondback rattlers for those keeping up on my fashionista status.) I gave her my usual cowboy boots spiel and then she complimented my bracelets and I gave my usual bracelets spiel and then she complimented my total look. “Those boots will last a lifetime,” she said. “Don’t know how long that’ll be,” I said, “but I plan to enjoy every minute of it.”
When I had established myself in the café, the first visitor to my table was a small, shy India-accented fellow, whose thick black beard equaled in dimension his entire head. “What are your books?” he inquired. I gave him a brief rundown at which he nodded. “Do you write?” I said. “Books and poetry about the spiritual,” he said and scurried off, but not before saying over his shoulder, “Enjoy your writing.”
“Enjoy,” I had said. “Enjoy,” he had said. Something, I figured, was going on. (It took me until the next morning, after the small fellow’s repeated exits and entrances, having to be reminded each time by staff and customers alike to put on a mask, to wonder about cognitive diminishment. At least on his part.)
But before that happened I sold two books.

The first was to Yael, a cantankerous Israeli art therapist, whose Burmadoodle, Kasha, is the cutest dog at the café. She began by picking up Most Outrageous, which she looked at and looked at and looked at.
“$15,” I said, extending a hand.
“You have to give people an idea what it’s about,” she said.
“You’ve got an idea,” I said. “As the druggists used to tell us kids who’d sit on the floor reading the comics on the rack, ‘I’m not a fucking library.’”
“Why did you even write this?” she said. Which got us into a semi-heated discussion about transgressive art, child sexual abuse, recovered memories, and her conclusion that there was no way in the world she would read such a book.
By then though she had picked up Fully Armed and had jumped to Jimmy’s experiences in Vietnam. That, with its confirmation of her views about man’s inhumanity to man – especially American men – sold her. “My intuition told me this morning to come to the café,” she said. “I wasn’t intending to, but it said I should. And this is just what I need.”
I was tempted to say something about conclusion-jumping but I wanted to give nothing away.

The second sale was Best Ride to Irving. (See “Adventures” 275, 278 – and yesterdays post.)
“I haven’t read this one,” he said.
“You can have it for free,” I said.
“I want to pay.” He took out a $20.
“It’s definitely worth $15,” said the woman who had bought the two books for her son the cartoonist. (See “Adventures” 295-6.)
“I only ask $5,” I said. “I’ve got boxes full.”
“Okay,” Irving said.
“You drive a hard bargain,” I said.

ALL OF BOB’S BOOKS ARE AVAILABLE – NONE FOR FREE – FROM THIS VERY WEB SITE.

http://www.firstofthemonth.org/the-last-irving/

That’s the link to my latest mini-story. It went up yesterday at First of the Month. I’d do my usual quoting of the first lines, but it’s too “mini” for that.

Sold that Outlaws, Rebels to my café pal who’d expressed interest in it as an Xmas
gift for her son.
And another friend – and prior customer – ordered an IWKYA for a friend of his who’s had his own complicated course of cardio-related problems. (I promised my friend I soud get him in here, so, Budd, this is for you.)
(Two people expressed interest in Fully Armed, but neither put cash on the barrelhead.)

In other news…
1.) By the time you read this, a pdf of Lollipop will have reached my printer in Montreal. I am not expected to have copies in hand for distribution until mid-February at the earliest. Continued patience is appreciated.
2.) Long-time friends will recall Best Ride to New York being optioned for a (non-major) motion picture, which never happened because the director/option-holder demanded a leading man who could play basketball and those with sufficient skills who wanted to play my protagonist were not big enough names to raise financing and those who were big enough didn’t want to play him.We went through two or three generations of potential leading men, had many bitterly funny conversations, and became good friends before he gave up and quit the business.
This week, when we talked, he asked if I still had our contract. His son, a Clio-award winning director of commercials, has been asked by a film production company to pitch it some projects, and guess what is on his list.
I seem to be on my second generation of directors.

Sold a Pirates and the Mouse.
The buyer, a café friend and repeat customer, wanted it as an Xmas present for her son, a cartoonist. She hoped it might give him direction. (She also expressed interest in Outlaws, Rebels but hasn’t sprung for that yet.) Now I am proud of my books and happy about any sales, but I can’t be certain, if I was a mother, I would want my son following in the tracks of cartoonists I tend to write about. Oh well, caveat emptor.

In other news…
1.) It has been a week of noteworthy conversation. There was the fellow who said, “Would you be interested in entering a writing contest, one page, for people from the café?” Sure,” I said, wondering what I’d win. “Do you write?” “No,” he said. “Then you can judge.” He shook his head. “Oh, I wouldn’t want the responsibility.” (He has not been heard from since.)
Then there was the woman who introduced herself as “An-ti-GO-nee.” When I looked puzzled, she explained that was the Greek pronunciation.. “Americans say ‘AN-ti-go-nee.” (Either way, a strange name to give a daughter, I thought.) We had a nice talk about my books and writing and I was sure I would hear from her again; but so far there has only been an exchange of nods as she picked up a black coffee to go.
Finally, there was an even more extensive conversation with a jazz musician (stand-up bass). To be fair, it was not my books but my red snakeskin cowboy boots that caught his eye; but we quickly got into it. It felt good, the whole jazz musician-writer thing.
2.) Lollipop’s cover has been finalized. Final formatting awaits. Then to the printer.
Even into my last proof-reading I had been having doubts about the name I had given the multi-thousand member street game which occupies much of my stand-ins attentions in the course of the book. Through several re-writes, I had called them the “Pariahs,” but, at the end, that seemed a bit pretentious for a street gang. After much brain-storming and Roget’s scanning I had settled on the more mundane “Raiders.”
I still had doubts, until, one morning, coming back from my cardio-walk, I spotted atop a retaining wall, as if placed there for me, a handsome, silver-and-black, wool RAIDERS stocking cap. A sign from God! I thought. That is how he works, right? Adele was not exactly thrilled when I brought it home, but, after I had Woolite-d and dried it, she admitted, “Cute.”

Adventures in Marketing: Weeks 291 – 294
No sales. (I’ve even begun varying which books I display.)
But one woman – 60ish, faded orange hair, grey hoodie – said, “You have interesting stuff. I’ll tell you that much.” And when another woman – 30ish, Hispanic, black windbreaker – said, “I wish I could buy one, but my budget has room only for coffee,” I offered her to take one, she said, “That’s very nice, but I’ll buy one when I get myself together.”
I did succeed in giving a Best Ride to a doctor-friend of a doctor-friend who has recently become a valuable addition to our e-mail-basketball-discussants group. (He’s been particularly good – and in agreement with me – on Wilt Chamberlain.)

In other news…
1.) The winners of the Arts Writers grants I didn’t get have been announced. Of the 20 pictured, my visual recognition program identified 14 women and seven people-of-color. Only one appears even half my age. My reply-all e-mailed (light-hearted) suggestion of ageism, along with congratulations, received zero acknowledgment.
2.) Meanwhile, Lollipop’s creative team has been firing on all cylinders. J.T. has eyes on completing the back cover this weekend. Milo has incorporated my corrections/additions to his first pdf and I have returned a few new ones for finalization. We hope to hit the printer this month.
The price is $15. Read all about it. “A VISTA Lawyer in Chicago. Sept ‘67 – Sept. ‘68.”
Murder. Romance. (Mainly true.) Not in stores or at Amazon. Available at www.theboblevin.com or at Spruce Hill Press. POB 9492. Berkeley 94709. (The New Yorker reports more than 1.5 million self-published books appear each year and more than half earn less than $500, so do your part.)

Not long ago, Benj DeMott (FIRST OF THE MONTH) e-mailed mention of “Children of Paradise.” I couple-sentenced a reply. “I think I can use this,” he said. “Let me work on it,” I said. “Deadline?”

I had three days and took two:

http://www.firstofthemonth.org/hollywood-ending/

Sold two books.
A visibly pregnant, mid-thirtyish, African-American developer, after picking up and putting down “The Schiz,” selected “Cheesesteak.” Her carpenter-turned-substance-abuse-counselor husband went for “IWKYA.” They assured me they would get back to me with their responses but so far…
I am still surprised by how often this is the case.

In other news…
A fun thing is where this writing/selling takes me, roads beginning in the past, twisting and turning, finding their way to a present.
1.) Because of his newly revealed interest in “Last Exit to Brooklyn,” I connected the editor of an on-line magazine to which I regularly contribute, having been led there by a writer/musician whom I met playing tennis in the ‘70s, to a cartoonist/writer whom I knew had once interviewed Hubert Selby, Jr. This fellow and I had connected on-line 30 years ago, due to my having tipped a hat to Nick Tosches, whom he also knew. (Tosches is of interest to the editor too.) I don’t claim to be Ezra Pound, but this is at least the seventh person I have sent this editor’s way.
2.) I also put together a woman who is involved with a forthcoming anthology of stories about Atlantic City (one of which is by me) and a co-author of a just-published history of boxing there, thinking they may do some mutually beneficial signing/promotion.
3.) Then the fellow from my neighborhood to whom I recently sent “Cheesesteak” (See “Adventure” 289) responded with a lengthy, rich response of his own recollections/experiences.
He was several years younger than me, and the sense I’d had of him as a kid would not have expected him to respond to the portions of my book which he didd. (Just goes to show you. That’s the lesson for today.) He also recalled me as “remote,” which I prefer to “introverted,” which is how another of our contemporaries – a Jungian – insists on describing me.

Gave a “Cheesesteak” to a cafe regular, who wanted it for a friend who’d owned a guitar store in Philly, downtown, north of Market. The cafe guy had bought books from me before, so I figured… Gratitude. Good will.

“Sold” a “Cheesesteak” to a cousin, who also wanted it for a friend. (The quotes are because the cousin is temporarily in Spain, and I don’t take pesos.) Her friend I knew as a young kid in the neighborhood. He went on to become more eminent in his field — rare books — than anyone else I knew in this stage of my life did in theirs. (He’s also the only person I know to be quoted in “The New Yorker.” On two separate occasions, decades apart.)

Finally, just under the wire for this “Adventure,” I sold a “Goshkin” and a “Most Outrageous,” via my web site, to a fellow FOM reader/
writer. He had said such nice things about “Goshkin/Gorey,” I’d offered him a copy of the book gratis, but he sprang for both.

In other news…

1.) A couple months ago, I submitted my first “real” short story in 10 or 15 years to a magazine. It turned it down. Will I send it some place else? I donno. It seems such a mug’s game sometimes.

2.) In recent “Adventures,” I’ve recounted a couple cafe customers who’ve reacted like meeting me was one of their days’ highlights. Neither of them has been seen or heard from since. Isn’t that odd? Or did actually reading my work dissuade them? A scary thought.

I reviewed this book a couple years ago but its publication was Covid-delayed, so I adapted it into a chapter in “Goshkin at Large,” but now the book is coming out, so I re-adapted it:

http://www.firstofthemonth.org/things-seldom-turn-out-for-the-best-three-rounds-with-edward-gorey/

It begins:
man in feathered fedora, mirrored shades
shopping cart of empty bottles and dreams.

pieces of morning punctuate each look’s
recognition/incorporation/ingestion
chemicals for better living.

great grey beard, great grey coat dripping,
to mid-calf, above which, incidentally, cut-off shorts.
Yeah, I know. Strange, right?

A nicely dressed, young Chinese woman stopped at my table. She read the back cover of IWKYA and said, “Your wife is a gem.”
“Yes,” I said. “I’m very lucky.”
She didn’t buy.

But within an hour a PhD student (Educational Psychology) stopped. “Where you from?” I asked.
“Canada,” she said, nicely. “But my ethnicity is Indian.” That’s the second time you’ve made that mistake, I thought. Ethnicity, not “Whereyizfrom?” That’s West Philly speaking.
“You must be Bob,” she went on.
“Yup,” I said.
“You wrote these?”
“Wrote and published.”
She wanted a SCHIZ and an IWKYA. She didn’t have cash and I couldn’t get Square to work, so I offered to let her take them and drop the money off with the barrista. She said she’d meet me the next time I was at the café and buy the books then – and she did.
She was about the most excited customer I have run into since I started this business.

China, India…
Growing up, two Puerto Rican-born brothers came into my elementary school. In junior high, the nephew of a Central American dictator showed up for a year. (He and I had a fist fight. Not on political grounds.) In high school, we had exchange students from Germany.
I like the world better now.